C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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