Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
