omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
