Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
