Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
