i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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