i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize