nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
