Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize