do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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