My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just invented taco cereal.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
