I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
