And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize