Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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