I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
