Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
