I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
