when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
home. puking in laundry basket.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Randomize
