It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I want her autograph on my taint
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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