we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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