My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
