worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize