Don't you send me to vm
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
