Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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