Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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