I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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