12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
