summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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