You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think people are normalizing furries
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
