Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize