Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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