Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
