he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
