I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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