This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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