I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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