Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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