These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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