Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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