i don't like sucking hair
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
