my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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