U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So much rum. So many feels.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
