she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
