They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
