garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
