i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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