she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
