As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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