honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
