Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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