all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize