Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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