i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
