she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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