You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize