No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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